Bodgeham-on-Wye

Bodgeham-on-Wye
Description	In care of Hackerly Parish Council
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Bodgeham-on-Wye is a village within the civil parish of Hackerly, in Herefordshire, England, near the border with Wales. It had a population estimated at 15 in 2024. It lies in the south-east of the county, on the River Wye^{[citation needed]}, and adjacent to the Eastnor Deer Park. Bodgeham-on-Wye is upside-down.

History

The name "Bodgeham" is derived from the Middle Dutch and Old High German words meaning "to knock together", though the historical record is unclear on what, or who, was the subject of the knocking. It was renamed "Bodgeham-on-Wye" in 1931 by the General Post Office, due to confusion with other places of the same or similar name (such as Bodham in Norfolk).

Bodgeham-on-Wye is known as the birthplace of saying "I beg your pardon" pejoratively.

Present day

The Bodgeham-on-Wye village fête in 2018.

Village Fête

The village is known for its biannual village fête, which takes the format of a non-profit camping festival for those with an inquisitive mind or an interest in making things: hackers, artists, geeks, crafters, scientists, and engineers.

Whilst featuring traditional village fête activities such as a coconut shy and a raffle, the Bodgeham fête creates a temporary town of nearly three thousand like-minded people enjoying a long weekend of talks, performances, and workshops on everything from blacksmithing to biometrics, chiptunes to computer security, high altitude ballooning to lockpicking, origami to democracy, and online privacy to knitting.

Hackerly Parish Council claims to provide fast internet, power to the tent, good beer, and amazing installations, entirely organised by a dedicated team of volunteers, though the Parish Council were unable to say who these volunteers were or where they came from.

A local resident, when asked about the success of the fête, said "This is suddenly getting much higher-profile than I intended".

Tourism drive

In 2022, faced with falling visitor numbers and a deleterous effect on the local economy, Vicar Grimblesby began a grass-roots tourism campaign to encourage visitors to Bodgeham and the surrounding areas. The campaign included the placement of blue plaques to commemorate the many notable people and historical events of the village, as well as the commissioning of a jingle.

Governance

Bodgeham-on-Wye is part of the civil parish of Hackerly, and is managed by the Hackerly Parish Council.

In 2023, Bodgeham was voted the "Least corrupt small village".

Sport

Bodgeham-on-Wye has one youth football team, the Bodgeham Bravehearts. When asked about the origin of the team name, Coach Porter said "Braveheart is Celtic, innit? We're near Wales.".

Legends and traditions

The Bodgeham Badger, a mysterious cryptid also known as the "King of Badgers", has been reported many times, but never photographed or even identified with certainty. It is said to be about the size and proportions of the average human but with the head of a Badger. Sometimes only glowing red eyes and a pulsing red glowing tail, akin to a bioluminescent jellyfish, have been reported along with a deep garbled growl. All reports have come when it has been dark and never during rain suggesting it is adverse to light and water.

A grassroots organisation, Bodgeham Cryptozoological Society, has vowed to answer the question of its existence once and for all, and is actively recruiting volunteers at the 2024 village fête.

There used to be sightings of small mouse-sized spites, seemingly made of wool, around the village. The local arcane and natural magic practitioner is said to have conjured these into existence while living in the old haberdashery. The locals call these "Ghemotochi" from the word Ghemotoc used to describe the small balls of fibers (pilling) that form on fabrics in Romanian, the native tongue of their rumored mother. As sightings of the Bodgeham Badger have increased the sightings of these Ghemotoci has decreased dramatically suggesting that there may be a link between them.

Since 2016, rumours of an underground cult worshipping a mysterious prophet have plagued the village.

Media

The town is served by the local newspapers The Bodgeham Byline and Eye-on-Wye.

Climate

Bodgeham-on-Wye experiences an unusually wet climate, almost as if it is situated entirely within an outdoor camping festival and thus cursed by the gods for its hubris.

Cuisine

The flag of England flying in Bodgeham, in July 2008

Bodgeham-on-Wye is known for a distinct cuisine with a rich history. Former resident Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall described the local culinary tradition as "demand[ing] a refined, mature palette". The village dish, Bodgeham Delight, is comprised of potato chips covered in a layer of baked beans and mayonnaise arranged into the form of a St George's Cross.

The local dairy co-operative produces a specialty cheese, Bodgeham Cheddar, in collaboration with the village cheesemonger, Wye Cheeses Wye. It is available in young and mature variants, the latter at home on a charcuterie platter, while the former does well grated over a dish of bolognese pasta. The cheesemonger and co-operative members have come under fire of late for issuing a joint statement on the topic of food safety. The collective were quoted in The Bodgeham Byline as having said

Pasteurization? Not one of us here has ever heard of pasteurization. Sounds French! No thank you.

Local Businesses and Organizations

Name	Kind
The Bodgeham Byline	Broadsheet
Eye-on-Wye	Tabloid Newspaper
Hackerly Parish Dairy Co-Operative	Dairy Co-operative and greengrocer
Wye Cheeses Wye	Cheesemonger
Barnstable Brothers	Builders

Controversies

A 2012 public meeting of the Bodgeham town council descended into chaos when the village alderman announced his intention to secede from the county library network. Members of the public made their disapproval of the policy known through the medium of aggressive shushing of the alderman upon any attempt to speak, pelting members of the village executive committee with rancid dairy products, and brandishing pitchforks. Since the meeting, the whereabouts of the alderman have remained unknown, and the investigation into his disappearance stalled without identifying any suspects.

Twin towns

Bodgeham-on-Wye has two twin villages:

• 🇳🇱 Knoeidijk, Netherlands.
• 🇩🇪 Basteldorf, Germany.

Notable people

Bodgeham has many incredibly famous and excellent people of which you have no doubt heard, They include:

• Hugh, inventor of Bodgeham's famed Egg Mayonnaise-based dish,
• Joe Nash, once recorded as saying "no village organising this year",
• Abdul,
• Bevis, Chief Fire Safety Officer for Bodgeham-on-Wye and the surrounding flammable areas.

See also

• Hackerly Parish Council